Shane Solanki finds a new job

Lyrical artisan extraordinaire Shane Solanki also known as 'The Last Mango in Paris', and frontman of The D'Archetypes has been bestowed with yet another accolade of being appointed 'Ambassador of Hounslow'...

Arise Ambassador and grace the peasants with a glimpse of your aura, for only those that are worthy shall enter hereinto the kingdom of TW3, the land where the 'holy lamb of God is seen rotating on a spit'...

Londonstani

"The first time I read this, the audience began to bottle me because I said 'p*ki so many times... so this is a warning to let you know that I will say p*ki in this reading... a lot..."

Gautam Malkani
March 2007
Neigbourhood, Notting Hill Gate



Gautam's novel of the misdemeanors of British Asian youth tells the tale of the protagonist Jas and his ascension into rudeboy-hood in the west London suburbs of Hounslow. Written in a street-slang/txt talk/hinglish* hybrid portraying tame family boys at home turning into streetwise gangsta 'desi's' with a penchant for boasting their sexual prowess, stealing phones and over-projecting their masculinity with the lingering stenches of 'family-related shit'.

*Hinglish- a term used to describe a colloquial use of spoken word of Indian origin in English sentences. ie: She's being really 'okhi' about it. (okhi- difficult/awkward)

'Pakis. Rajamuffins. Britasians. Rudeboys. Desis. Whatever we are, the other guys are better at being it than I am. I swear I got the same fones that they got but I still look like a gimp.'

Meet Jas, 19. Obsessed with designer clothes, sculpted facial hair, protein shakes and pretending he lives in the ghetto rather than his overbearing mum's five bedroom house in Hounslow. No matter how much Jas tries, though, it isn't enough to sleep with the seriously fit Samira or convince hard-man Hardjit. Then Sanjay - a proper player with a Knightsbridge penthouse and a Porsche - offers him a deal he can't resist. But will Jas be man enough to pay the price for his borrowed bad-boy image...

'GRIPPING STUFF... BOTH DISTURBING AND COMPELLING. MALKANI SKILFULLY HIGHLIGHTS THE INTERSECTION OF MACHISMO AND CONSUMERISM' The Gaurdian

WATCH GAUTAM'S COMMENT broadband
WATCH GAUTAM'S COMMENT dial-up

This is a call to all those that read this blog, BUY THIS BOOK NOW! Published by Harper Perennial. Available in almost every bookstore, if it's not there got to Amazon where it's HALF PRICE!

LONDONSTANI - HALF PRICE! CLICK HERE

Provoked Premiere

I was invited to the Premiere at The Empire, Leicester Square on 3rd April... The newlywed Bollywood 'IT' couple Aishwaraya Rai and Abhishek Bachchan (son of the living Legend Amitabh Bachchan) in presence you'd expect more of a fuss...

Provoked is a UK based English language film, directed by Jag Mundhra. It stars Aishwarya Rai (Devdas, Bride and Prejudice, former Miss World), Naveen Andrews (Kama Sutra, Lost), Miranda Richardson, Robbie Coltrane (Cracker), Nandita Das (Fire) and Steve McFadden ("Oh Phil?!" - "Shut it you TART!"). This film is very loosely based on the true story of Kiranjit Ahluwalia who killed her allegedly abusive husband and is sentenced under a murder charge... After 3 years of work with the Southall Black Sisters to build a case for appeal, it is reduced to manslaughter. Regina VS Alhuwalia was a landmark case that argued that provocation can include years of accumalitve actions (in this case; an abusive marriage) not just a moment of action after which the victim has a 2 hour 'cooling off' period. Any retaliation after this cannot be considered provocation. This case also saw 'battered woman syndrome' to be recognised as a legal/medical condition affecting the psychological/emotional state of mind.

Cinematography for the film is being handled by Madhu Ambat. The film's score and soundtrack has been composed by A. R. Rahman, and the theme song for the film, "Alive", was composed by Rahman and sung by Karen David, who has a small cameo in the film. She's quite cute with her blasé attitude toward the bayliffs taking the office photocopier, and her psuedo early ninties outfits.

...As I mentioned earlier, a fuss around Ash/Abhi was expected, especially considering tickets were on general sale to the public. I expected with all their airs and graces of Bollywood stardust they'd have secluded seating... They were sitting behind where I was. Furthermore whose decision was it to sell tickets to public?! Any way to make a quick buck hey? Hoardes of screaming pubescent girls chirped like a hedge full of crickets in desperate attempt to catch Abhishek's attention...

That's right love, he's looking at you (squashed amongst all the other homegenous Hounslow girls that you are aesthetically completely not different to in any way whatsoever)...

Abhishek has a personal message for all those girls...



"I'm married."